


Panta's Discord Drabbles

by Panta



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Established Relationship, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, It's just Oumota angst guys, Kissing, Lack of Communication, Light Masochism, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Neck Kissing, Nightmares, Nipple Play, Panic Attacks, Self-Doubt, Sex, Teasing, kind of, that's all it is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2020-02-10 17:07:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18664699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panta/pseuds/Panta
Summary: As I procrastinate in writing my actual fics, I occasionally ask my Discord server for drabble prompts. This is the result.I write these in about an hour so they are a bit rushed, but I hope you enjoy them nonetheless!-=+=+=-Chapter 3: Haunted by the past, Kokichi has a nightmare about the one person he holds dear. (Rated E)Chapter 4: Bad habits are harder to kick than Kaito would like to admit. (Rated T)Chapter 5: It's not healthy, Kokichi knows;theyaren't healthy. But he comes back anyway, night after night. (Rated M)





	1. You Will Never Be Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1: Postgame AU. Kokichi's been having a worse week than usual, and Kaito's determined to find out why, even if he has to force Kokichi to communicate. It doesn't go well. (Rated M)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Implied rape/non-con, some anxiety

Something is wrong, Kaito is sure of it. He just can't quite pinpoint what that something might be.

Kokichi has good days, where he bounces around their apartment and drags Kaito to the park to feed the ducks or play in the piles of autumn leaves, the smile on his face genuine. He has average days, where he acts ridiculously flirty to both anger and fluster Kaito, grinning that stupid exaggerated-but-still-real grin, covering up the desperate need for affection that the former astronaut knows he is feeling. He has below average days, where he deflects all of Kaito's questioning over the bags beneath his eyes, or the bitten-down stubs of his nails, or the completely ingenuine smiles that curve his lips in a way so plastic Kaito wonders how he could have ever believed it.

But then there are Kokichi's bad days. On a bad day, Kokichi doesn't get out of bed. He doesn't eat, barely speaks, only moves to turn away from Kaito and burrow further into their soft down comforter. All Kaito can do is be there, make sure Kokichi knows he'll never leave, no matter how bad it gets. Those days tend to be few and far between, but Kaito knows they've been happening more often lately.

Every day, Kokichi fights to drag himself out of bed. He pretends it's not true, and Kaito humors him, but it's been so terribly long since Kokichi had a good day, and this whole week has only seen one average day. Kaito isn't stupid; as much as Kokichi would deny it, Kaito knows something happened recently. Something set him back, made him more reclusive and mentally isolated, made him shy away from every touch, every semblance of eye contact.

Kokichi has always been big on physical contact--hugs and kisses and cuddles and, well,  _ more _ \--so when, for the third bad day in a row, Kokichi flinches, almost imperceptibly, away from Kaito's very presence, the former astronaut decides enough is enough.

"'Kichi, babe," he starts with a somewhat angry sigh, setting the bowl of soup Kokichi had refused onto the bedside table, "you've gotta talk to me."

The former supreme leader shakes his head, gaze drifting to Kaito's hands and refusing to meet his eyes.

"Come  _ on, _ Kichi, I know it's hard but I can't let this go on. You're only hurting yourself laying around like this." Kokichi's eyes fill with guilty tears, and Kaito barely suppresses a frustrated sigh.

"I-I don't--" the boy croaks, but the astronaut cuts him off.

“You don’t mean to upset me, I know. It’s just a bad day and you have  _ no idea why this could possibly be happening.” _ This time, Kaito really does sigh. “Stop bullshitting me. I’m not stupid; I know something’s wrong.”

Kokichi bites his lip, “you’re b-being mean.”

“And you’re deflecting! I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s going on, so man up and spill it!”

“You c-can’t help me, Kai-chan. Not with this.”

“You always say that!  _ Please, _ Kichi, it hurts me to see you like this.”

That seems to draw a reaction from Kokichi, anger flaring in the leader’s eyes. “Oh, so that’s how you’re playing this? Gonna guilt trip me to make me talk?” He scowls, “you’re manipulative!”

“Like you’re one to talk!” Kaito snaps, and he knows it’s a low blow, insulting Kokichi for his Game personality like that. It does get Kokichi to shut up though, stemming the headache he knows is going to start. “Look, just…think about it, okay?” Kokichi doesn’t respond, but at least he isn’t outright refusing.

That night, the sheets between them are ice cold, and Kaito can feel Kokichi’s trembling past the bundles of blankets and plush toys. Whether it’s from cold or crying or something else entirely, Kaito doesn’t know, but Kokichi has made it clear that he doesn’t want Kaito’s help.

The next night, in between nightmares that it pains Kaito to see him go through, Kokichi is deliriously tired enough to open up, and his story makes the former astronaut’s blood run cold. He describes a fan in cosplay, adorned in pink pigtails and striking blue eyes, sneaking into Kokichi’s workplace. Tears fall from violet eyes while he recounts her hands on his skin, her lips against his ear, whispering  _ dirty _ and  _ slut _ and  _ pathetic, _ her fingers slipping beneath the waistband of his pants and—

“That’s enough, you can stop,” Kaito says, pulling his boyfriend to his chest. “You don’t have to keep going.”

“I-I thought you were…all about comm-communication.” Kokichi attempts to tease, but it fails horribly.

“I am,” Kaito affirms, “but I’m not about making you uncomfortable. You deserve to have your boundaries respected, and I’m sorry for pushing.”

“Your intentions were good, Kai-chan.”

Kaito shakes his head, “it was still wrong of me to disregard your feelings like that. Please ‘Kichi, tell me when you’re hurting, or if I’m going too far. I only want to help you.”

Kokichi stares at him for an almost disconcertingly long time, before nodding and snuggling closer to the astronaut. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Kaito repeats, hoping against hope that, for once, his liar will keep his word.


	2. A Blush Looks Good on You, Darling, But Those Tears Sure Don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2: Non-despair AU Oumota. Kokichi thinks he's ready for sex, but he realizes at the worst time that he most definitely is not. He probably should've told Kaito he was a virgin. (Rated E)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's sex in this one. Almost.

Kokichi’s not exactly sure where things went wrong, if he’s being honest with himself.

It started with them cuddling, just a lazy afternoon in bed, his back pressed against Kaito’s chest and some sci-fi movie on the TV. He’d felt his partner’s lips against his neck and hummed contentedly, tilting his head to expose more skin. The kisses were light and gentle, but Kokichi would’ve been lying if he said he wasn’t  _ enthralled _ by the idea of his boyfriend leaving marks on him.

“Kaito?” he’d mumbled shyly, face tinted pink. “C-Could you...make, um...leave a...I want...” he closed his eyes tight, embarrassed. “I want you to give me—“

Kaito bit down on the base of his neck, chuckling when the smaller boy’s breath hitched and pressing his tongue into the flesh.

Kokichi made a quiet, breathy sound as heat rushed to his groin. “Y-Yeah...that.” He reached up to bury a hand in Kaito’s hair, fingers threading through the surprisingly long locks. “You should leave your h-hair down more often. It looks l-less stupid.”

Kaito’s response to the nervous attempt at humor was to growl and slip his hand under Kokichi’s shirt, feeling the boy shiver beneath him.

A calloused thumb brushed over his nipple, making the leader’s lips part in a gasp. He fought to control his quickening breaths as Kaito pinched and pulled at the little nub, sparks of pain doing nothing to curb his arousal.

_ Is that normal? _ He wondered, trying to ignore how out of place the pleasure seemed.  _ Should-Should I not like this? I never thought to touch my chest before...I thought only girls— _

Kaito rolled him onto his back then, snapping him out of his thoughts. Kokichi swallowed, eyes roaming the wall of defined muscle looming over him. The astronaut was positioned between his legs now, their crotches nearly touching, and Kokichi thanked his lucky stars that they were both still fully clothed. He didn’t want Kaito to see how humiliatingly desperate he’d already become.  _ Surely he’d prefer someone with experience… _

He allowed his eyes to flutter shut as Kaito leaned down to kiss him, so deeply losing himself in the sensation of feeling loved— _ this is love, right? _ —that his mind barely registered his pants being unbuttoned.

Maybe that was how it all began spiraling.

It wasn’t one thing that changed his mind about this, per se, rather the combination of so many sensations at once. The wet pressure of Kaito’s tongue against his own, tickling the roof of his mouth; the small pulses of pain and the stickiness of drying saliva from the hickey on his neck; the way Kaito  _ flicked _ his nipple, making his entire body jerk and a desperate whimper slip into their kiss; the feeling of Kaito’s other hand slipping beneath his boxers and wrapping around the most sensitive part of him, wasting no time in beginning to stroke the near-painfully hard member. It made Kokichi’s eyes shoot wide open, his heart beating fast, his hands clutching at the bedsheets and—

_ He couldn’t breathe. _

It was too much, everything was too much, the heat and the sounds and the pleasure and the pain and  _ he just couldn’t take it. _ He sat up, knocking their heads together in the process, shoving Kaito away and pulling his legs to his chest. He buried his face in his knees, hiding behind his hair as he tried in vain to stem the tears which were steadily forming.

“Kokichi?” Kaito whispered, sounding hesitant, and all the leader could think was that he screwed up and Kaito would hate him and Kaito would leave and—“are you okay?”

Kokichi froze, only managing an imperceptible shake of his head.

“What’s wrong? Was it bad? Did I hurt you?”  _ No, no no no, you could never hurt me Kaito, even if you did I’d still love you forever— _ “I know I’m not that great at this stuff, you’ve probably had better and I get it if you don’t want to settle for—”

“I’m a virgin.” Kokichi’s lips moved on their own, practically spitting the words he’d so desperately kept hidden.

“You...what?”

“I’m a virgin,” he sniffled. “I’ve never d-done anything l-like this be-before.”

“Oh, Kichi...” Kaito started, in a pitying tone that made the boy curl further in on himself. He felt the bed dip right beside him, a blanket being draped over his shoulders, and a comforting warmth settling in close by. “It’s overwhelming, isn’t it? Being touched that way for the first time?”

Kokichi nodded, still finding himself unable to make eye contact.

“Hey,” Kaito said, soft and sweet and gentle, “it’s okay. There’s no need to be ashamed; I understand.”

“Really?” The leader asked, finally looking up.

Kaito nodded resolutely, all traces of lust in his eyes replaced by empathy and  _ care _ . Kokichi’d never felt so loved.

“Really.”


	3. what a difficult thing, to sleep peacefully in your arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3: Kokichi has a nightmare about the one person he holds dear. (Rated E)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: past abuse, non-con, panic attacks

“I...I don’t want to do this.”

Kaito’s hands freeze beneath his shirt, gripping his thin hips tight enough to leave fingerprint bruises. He scowls, “you what?”

Kokichi squirms from both his glare and his hold, biting his lip. “I just..I don’t really feel up to—“

“Seriously?” Kaito interrupts him, making the smaller boy flinch. “After everything I do for you, you can’t even give me this? The one thing you’re good for.”

The supreme leader’s breath catches in his throat. “Y...you don’t mean that.”

“I’m not a  _ liar _ like you, ‘Kichi.” He spits the word with such venom it makes Kokichi’s chest ache, pale skin becoming even more so as Kaito exposes it to his own lustful gaze. “The only time you’re even tolerable is when I’m fucking your brains out.”

Kokichi’s vision blurs, and he can feel himself begin to hyperventilate as one of Kaito’s large hands pulls his legs apart, the other still managing to pin him down all on its own. He’s always been afraid of this, of Kaito realizing that sex was the only thing he could do right, that he can be held down and used like a toy and not a single damn person would care. The possibility had never left his mind, yet it still stings all the same to see it come to fruition. “K-Kaito, please,” he begs, trembling, “d-don’t do this, I’m not ready, I don’t want it—“

The astronaut forces his hips forward, and just as the blinding pain begins, Kokichi’s eyes fly open.

He shoots up in bed, breath just as quick as it was in the dream, tears threatening to spill over his cheekbones. “Not real,” he mumbles, pressing his face into his hands. “Not real, not real, not real.” Kaito wouldn’t do that, would never force him into anything, would never say such horrible things…

Even so, Kokichi slips out of bed, clutching his pillow to his chest as he stumbles out of their room and curls up on the couch.

Kaito sleeps on, blissfully una ware.

Maybe it’s better that way.


	4. even if you didn't mean it, you did it, it happened, it's real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4: Bad habits are harder to kick than Kaito would like to admit. (Rated T)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: violence

Kaito's breath comes out in harsh pants as he slowly lowers his arm from its outstretched position, the ache in his knuckles bubbling beneath his skin in the same way that Kokichi's shocked yelp rings like static in his ears. For a moment, he feels the sweet rush of victory, knowing he finally got this brat to  _ shut up. _

Then Kokichi, his boyfriend, the man he loves more than words can describe, raises a trembling hand to his cheek, and that victory sours on his tongue. In that horrible, heart-wrenchingly empty voice Kaito recognizes immediately as  _ hurt, _ Kokichi says, "you hit me."

The smaller boy only said three words, yet it pierces sharper through Kaito's heart than any blade could ever hope to. It digs into his flesh and forces him to see the reality he has created for himself, making Kaito stumble back as though he were the one struck.

Slowly, Kokichi's head pivots to look the astronaut in the eyes, red-violet blotches already blossoming on his paper-white skin. Injuries don't suit him, Kaito thinks.

"You hit me," the love of Kaito's life repeats, and all the taller man can do is take another step back.

"I hit you," he admits, as though it will make the reality any less terrifying.

Neither of them knows what to say.


	5. we're like fire and gasoline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5: It's not healthy, Kokichi knows; _they_ aren't healthy. But he comes back anyway, night after night. (Rated M)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep listening to Tomorrow by Chris Young and crying, this is the result
> 
> Warnings: unhealthy relationship, implied sexual content

It’s not healthy.

They’re not healthy.

This...this  _ thing _ they have, this not-relationship, not-love--it could never be healthy.

Kokichi knows that.

Even as he kisses and pushes and pulls and loses himself in some kind of not-quite-bliss, he knows it’s meaningless in the end.

He wishes he was wrong.

Night after night he and Kaito fall into each other, passion hot and heavy between them, and sometimes it almost feels okay. Sometimes it feels like there’s more than just a physical connection, like they could be anything more than they are if they just tried a little harder. Sometimes it feels like they’ve made love.

Kaito’s arms are strong when they hold him and these days it’s more suffocating than it is comforting, but Kokichi will never speak that thought aloud, never do anything that might bring these feelings of wrongness to the surface.

His breath comes out in quick pants and he has no idea if it’s from pleasure or fear or something else entirely.

Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces as Kaito leans in to kiss him, and as he melts in the man’s hold Kokichi can almost pretend this is love. He can almost envision Kaito as a lover, not someone he seeks out in a desperate desire to feel something, anything that isn’t confusion or guilt or regret. He can almost ignore the obvious fact that Kaito’s just as desperate for the same thing.

One last time, he thinks, one last night before he calls it off.

He slips from Kaito’s arms in the morning, lies to himself that he doesn’t miss the warmth, the protection they provide. Claims he doesn’t want to let Kaito hold him tight and rock him steady and brush away his tears and kiss him until he forgets why he shed them in the first place.

He leaves, like he’s finally let go.

It’s not healthy, what they’ve done, but Kokichi comes back that night anyway. One last night, he thinks for the millionth time. Tomorrow, I’ll be strong enough to let go.

Tomorrow comes and goes. Nothing changes.


End file.
